"home"

When did home stop feeling like a sanctuary of comfort and warmth? Did it ever?  I've been "home" for less than 24 hours and have already endured cattiness, bitterness, and two screaming matches, and some of the aforementioned happened on the car ride back.  "Home" is divided into territories with father or mother flags, a place where they recover or rest up for the next battle.  The neutral grounds of the kitchen and living room are riddled with land mines, waiting to be detonated by pointed barbs or hateful words.  Chance meetings in neutral territory beigin quietly; words are spoken tersely and succintly.  Feelings of resentment or anger build inside as negotiations continue, until poison begins to seep into their words and they spit it out.  The words escalate until "home" is filled with flying shrapnel of hate.  Innocent bystanders duck their heads and try to focus on the task at hand, but the words slice their concentration. 

How did it get like this? 

Dont' they ever get tired of it?  I'm tired.  I'm tired of being broken and alone in the place I call "home."  I'm tired of picking myself up off the ground.  I'm tired of the tears, the hope that comes whenever a fight is averted, and the inevitable crushing diasppointment that follows when another skirmish breaks out.  I've come to expect warfare at home.  I've lost all faith that my parents can make it through this; it's been far too long.  I cant stop and and there's no one who can.

How did i get like this?

ahoy ahoy

i cant believe my first xanga post since august is one of these surveys...but why not?  enjoy

I am: a pretty pretty princess...no wait that's jon chen  
I miss: seeing my sister
I want: warm weather...WHERE ARE YOU IT'S ALMOST APRIL
I have: one amazing bear: paddington prince
I hate: feeling useless
I fear: being useless
I play: text twist!  or am i supposed to put some musical instrument here
I hear: the sound of backstreet boys' album- never gone
I care: for carebaby!
I smile: when the sun comes out like this - it's prolly extremely disturbing to ppl who see me
I wonder: how it's gonna beee (one point to whoever knows this song ala jack kou)
I poke: mon...the lesser known sequel to i, robot
I love: prison break and my pistons
I mess: up...lots
I think: this is entertaining yet a complete waste of time
I always: want to play
I am not: going to fail orgo...really!
I wish: it would be 75 out...with no humidity
I keep: on pushing
I can't: wink...it's just not in me
I write: cheesy lines
I lose: bets to jon chen
I smell: like armani mania
I confuse: E1, E2, SN1, SN2 reactions
I need: remedial help for orgo
I should: be figuring out what E1, E2, SN1, SN2 reactions are
I dance: like usher.  okay so i dont
I sing: all day every day
I laugh: a lot...easily amused is my middle name
I cry: during that extreme home makeover show...every time!
I talk: but i like to listen

Currently Listening Never Gone By Backstreet Boys see related

I'VE FOUND MICHAEL VARTAN'S LONG LOST TWIN!!!

well...at least his cousin or something

exhibit A:  sean patrick flanery of boondock saints

exhibit B: michael i'm-too-hot-for-my-own-good vartan

see??!!  alright...so maybe they don't look as much alike when you juxtapose their pictures.  i couldnt find one of michael doing his pensive yet masculine look to match sean patrick's (yeah you ladies know what i'm talking about).   but boondock saints was a very very good movie and even better b/c of sean patrick/michael     my favorite scene was when willem dafoe (agent smecker) was reenacting what happened at the crime scene at the scary man's house (yes that is his real name) and he's actually IN the scene, shooting it up w/the macmanus brothers and rocco (who forcibly reminds me of johnny damon...i think it's the hair/beard).  and also the part where the cat explodes.  that was SICK.

but here's a little johnny damon/david della rocco action:

Currently Watching The Boondock Saints By Willem Dafoe, Sean Patrick Flanery, Norman Reedus see related

August 17, 2005

BY KRISTEN GELINEAU
ASSOCIATED PRESS

RICHMOND, Va. -- A rush to purchase $50 used laptops turned into a violent stampede Tuesday, with people thrown to the pavement, beaten with a folding chair and nearly driven over.

One woman went so far as to wet herself rather than surrender her place in line.

"This is total, total chaos," said Latoya Jones, 19, who lost a flip-flop in the ordeal.

An estimated 5,500 people turned out at the Richmond International Raceway in hopes of getting one of the 4-year-old Apple iBooks, which retail for between $999 and $1,299.

The Henrico County school system was selling 1,000 of the computers to county residents.

When officials opened the gates at 7 a.m., it became a mob scene.

People, some of whom had been waiting since 1:30 a.m., threw themselves forward, screaming and pushing one another.

Witnesses said an elderly man was thrown to the pavement, and someone tried to drive through the crowd.

Seventeen people suffered minor injuries, with four requiring hospital treatment, Henrico County Battalion Chief Steve Wood said.

There were no arrests, and the iBooks sold out by 1 p.m.

Paul Proto, director of general services for Henrico County, said: "It's rather strange that we would have such a tremendous response for the purchase of a laptop. ... But I think that people tend to get caught up in the excitement of the event."

ESPN.com, page 2...my salvation from boredom they are oh so clever